3 ways to become a better father. Hi, it’s Niro here, from Family Focused Fathers, and from one dad to another, being a father is tough. It’s tough when you’re constantly overwhelmed, because you’ve got so many competing priorities. It’s tough when you’re wracked by guilt, because you constantly feel like you’re missing out on watching your children grow up or missing out on special events. It’s tough when you’re exhausted at the end of the day, you walk in the door, and now you’ve got to deal with either your screaming kids, or kids that almost ignore you, and you feel like you’re irrelevant. Okay, so in this video, I want to give you 3 strategies that I really hope will make your fatherhood journey easier, but it will also make you a better father, and help you have a more fulfilling relationship with your kids.
Okay, so strategy number 1: Be more attentive. You see, in one of my earlier videos, I said, how do kids spell love? It’s not money. It’s not necessarily time, no. It’s attention. What your kids want is your full attention, from pretty much the moment you walk in the door, no matter how exhausted you are. Okay yes, it’s tough, but what they want is your attention. They want you to be present. They want you to listen to what they have to say. If you take them to a soccer game, they don’t want to see you on the phone when they’re playing, they want to know that you’re watching them, that you are supporting them, and that they have your full attention. So, be attentive, number 1.
Number 2, and this has nothing to do with parenting. Rather what I found, from my research now, on what makes good fathers different from others, is this. Good fathers, in fact the best fathers out there, aim to be the person they want their kids to become. You see, you and I have both heard this before, but kids don’t learn as much by listening to what you say, rather they learn more by watching what you do. So if we want to see certain behaviors in our kids, we need to role model them first. So it’s very difficult to tell our kids to eat healthy, if we’re always eating junk food. It’s very hard to tell our kids to read, if we’ve never picked up a book in years.
It’s tough to tell our kids to clean up their room, if our room or our home office or whatever our situation is a complete mess. Okay, so we need to role model the behaviors. Always understand that, our kids learn by watching how we respond. This doesn’t mean that we need to be perfect, okay? It doesn’t mean that we need to have all the answers. Not at all. In fact, often when we make a mistake, how we respond to that mistake, how we acknowledge it, accept it, and apologize for it, is a great way to then show our kids how we want them to perform, how we want them to be when they make a mistake.
And then number 3, don’t make your kids a to-do item. You see, right now, most men out there, most dads are overwhelmed, we’re too busy, we’ve got way too much on our plates, and so we’re trying to be more efficient, we’re trying to get more done, and so we go through our tasks and we get them done as fast as possible, but kids are not a task. The moment you treat your role as a father as another to-do item on your list, you will pay a hefty price, because why? Because you won’t give you kids your full attention. You’ll try to either get them into bed more quickly, or your conversation with them after school will be short and brief, and your kids will realize that you’re not giving them your full attention, like I said in strategy number 1. And they will feel the fact that you’re trying to rush certain things, and guess what, that’s when they’ll start to play up, or they’ll start to ignore you, and that’s when things will become more difficult.
So 3 simple strategies, let me go through them quickly again. Number 1, be attentive, give your kids your full attention. Number 2, aim to be the person you want your kids to become. And the number 3, don’t make your kids a to-do item. I really hope this video helps, and if you’d like more strategies about how to be the best father you possibly can be, how to be the father your kids need you to be, while still being the man you want to be, then check out my new book, Dad, Don’t Quit on Us. It goes through a range of different strategies, and right now we’ve got a special introductory offer. So go ahead and visit daddontquit.com. Check out the page for all the details.